“IBS Diagnosis”

Not really sure what this means in the future for me. Not really sure how I am feeling at the moment. My diagnosis from my Endoscopy is IBS. Switching my medicine from Bentyl to Levbid Extended Release 0.375 (Hysocyamine Sulfate) Tablets. Claiming Bentyl wasn’t working. So I am suppose to continue taking my colestid, xanax, Lansoprazole, and now this Levbid. He thought that because of stomach pains being severe, that the pain is causing me to throw up. How does IBS hurt above the belly button? He said, “Well stomach looks clean.” The last time I had this done, I had excessive bile and acid and a small ulcer that formed in my duodenum. Apparently things look better.
Here I sit and wonder, what my life is going to be like? I already can’t stand the last 2 years. I had so many plans that I had to put on hold because I could barely work and be a mom. I have gained weight, my esteem is at its lowest. I seriously want to throw the towel. I feel bitter about other’s who get to enjoy their life and have a good time. I have this deep fear of leaving to far from home, eating out at places since that seems to be the trigger and am afraid to be anywhere that doesn’t have a bathroom. I google this stuff and realize that I am not the only person out there who struggles with this. I have developed severe anxiety. So I take medicine for that, but I am starting to see that not working like it once did.
I don’t mean to sit here and complain, I don’t mean to sit here and cry and have a pity party! It’s so hard to talk to anyone about how I feel anymore. I feel like I don’t have friends, I have lost my desire to be a portrait photographer, I have lost the desire for many things. I am always exhausted, moody, and emotional. Seriously, I feel like I am emotionally, physically, and mentally falling apart….and there isn’t anyone to catch me, not even God!!!
I know I am tired of others saying, well it could be worse like Cancer….well at least with cancer you have a definite diagnosis and treatment plan! I know some don’t get that option, but I don’t know what I am feeling. I feel like God short changed me or something. What the hell am I doing? Throwing hands up in the air and walking off! Frustrated, pissed off and depressed.
See ya later,
Kat

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3 thoughts on ““IBS Diagnosis”

  1. I’m sorry to hear you’re having such an awful time! I hope things get better soon, I’m sure it’s different for everyone but I do know a few people with IBS who’ve learned to manage it over time. Hopefully you will too.

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